As I Leave the Party
(I said something I didn’t mean)
Poetry
As I Leave the Party
Shared hallucinations
in this teenage dump
A gathering
I was never truly part of it
This high gets the rest of us low
like the old queens
running their bodies into the ground
picked from the kingdom whole
faded into the foreground
I am not an old queen
The worn-smooth tyres
endure me, like a chipped shield
served me well
I said some things I didn’t mean
said them like a war cry
The asphalt receives my regret
because I’ll never apologise
I pray for amnesia, drug-induced
sky-high ambience muffling my voice
but your eyes still saw my lips
Curse you and yours, half-lidded,
having more fun than me
Does it run in the family?
Selfish fun, neglect
I hate your attitude
when you’re like this, every colour
under neon lights
and temporary tattoos
I said something I didn’t mean
then left before you could hear it
and now I think
maybe I meant it all along
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